THE
NEW CREATION
<PAGE 519>
STUDY
XIII
PARENTAL
OBLIGATIONS OF THE NEW
CREATION
Great Obligations Attach to the Exercise of Procreative Powers--Prenatal
Influences--"Train up a Child in the Way He Should Go!"--The
Influence of Sunday Schools--The Confidence of Children--The
Power of Suggestion in Child Training--Our Children in the Time
of Trouble--Proper and Improper Amusements--Marriage of Children
of New Creatures.
PARENTAL
obligations are amongst the most momentous pertaining to the affairs
of mankind. The power to propagate the human species, with all
the possibilities connected and associated with the being thus
brought into existence, is a wonderful one--the nearest approach
of humanity to the divine power. Indeed, it is the exercise of
divine power by man as God's agent. The possibilities connected
with the birth of every child extend in opposite directions of
advantage or disadvantage, good or evil, honor or dishonor, to
wonderful extremes. Surely if mankind realized this matter from
its true standpoint, it would lift the begetting of children from
the plane of a passion and a relaxation of intellectual and moral
principles to a consecrated plane, in which the responsibilities
of fatherhood and motherhood would be realized in a manner and
to a degree attained as yet surely by very few. These thoughts
of obligation should extend not only to the child, whose mental
and moral and physical characteristics are dependent upon the
parent, but also to the Creator who intrusted to humanity this
wonderful power of propagation, and to whom, as stewards, a reckoning,
an accounting for the use of this divine power should be expected
to be made.
These
feelings of responsibility are intensified as we begin to realize
that under the divine arrangement not only do the parents influence
the character of the coming child in
<PAGE 520> the moment of its begettal, but
throughout the period of gestation. During that period the mind
of the mother, her thoughts, her moods, her sentiments, are all
being impressed upon the embryo child; and not only so, but at
such a period the mother herself is specially susceptible to the
influences surrounding her, many, if not all, of which are properly
under the care of the husband. If the mother's mind be kept bright
and cheerful and her heart happy, these will favorably influence
the embryo; but if on the contrary she is harassed, worried, troubled,
beset with contentions and perplexities, this distress will surely
be impressed upon the embryo, giving a peevish or sad or ill-tempered
disposition for life. If the prenatal surrounding conditions be
those of debauchery and selfishness and meanness, is it any wonder
that the embryo so impressed and the child born with such impressions
should be mean, ignoble, and with tendencies toward debauchery,
selfishness, etc.?
We
are not to be understood as claiming that all the evil in the
world is directly traceable to a parental legacy of sin and weakness
bestowed upon the child in the period of gestation, nor even that
it is all traceable to this and to the subsequent training of
the child to manhood or womanhood. We admit that it is possible
that some bad men and bad women were comparatively well born and
well reared, even as Satan was created perfect and sinned wilfully
under the Creator's tuition: yet we are seriously inclined to
doubt if many of the bad characters ever had these two important
assistances toward uprightness. We are in full agreement with
the Scriptural declaration of a general rule: "Train up a
child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not
depart from it." How many parents, more or less disposed
to question the truthfulness of this scripture, remember that
the time to begin to train a child is at the moment of its begettal,
and that a poorly begotten child needs to have trained out of
it the weakness and foolishness and sin which were impressed upon
it before birth?
We
are not wishing to intimate the possibility of the birth
<PAGE 521> of a perfect child under present
fallen and imperfect conditions. On the contrary, we remember
well the declaration of the Lord, "Who can bring a clean
thing out of an unclean?" We recognize that it is true of
all that, "I was born in sin, shapen in iniquity, and in
sin did my mother conceive me," and are merely urging that,
whatever the world may see or not see on this subject, the Lord's
people of the New Creation should realize the possibility of alleviating
in some measure the stains and weaknesses which belong to the
fallen race. They at least should see to it that their children
are born with as noble characters as they can possibly bestow
upon them under the divine arrangement. Fallen they will still
be, and a Savior they will still need, and without him they could
never attain either to perfection or to worthiness of eternal
life. The natural man may perceive this truth to some extent and
may profit by such suggestions as these but not to the extent
that the New Creature may profit.
Strive
how he will, the natural man is still natural--of the earth, earthy--and,
hence, can impress upon his wife, and she upon the embryo, only
such thoughts and sentiments as they themselves possess, and these
are necessarily deficient in respect to the very highest sentiments--the
spiritual. While the mind of the New Creature grasps the spiritual
hopes and promises and ideals, and properly seeks to impress these
upon so many as the Lord our God shall call by his truth and grace--seeks
specially to develop children of God--nevertheless if for any
reason they enter matrimonial relations, and consider it wise
to propagate a human family, they have great advantage in this
respect over the natural man and woman. They have loftier ideals,
grander hopes, nobler aspirations, purer joys: and realizing the
influence of their thoughts and emotions and sentiments upon the
embryo child, such parents would be in a position to do for the
child very much more indeed than could other parents for their
offspring.
The
world has gained a selfish wisdom somewhat along these lines.
For instance, those interested in fine stock,
<PAGE 522> cattle, horses, sheep, etc., not
only give careful attention to proper mating, but, additionally,
especially when endeavoring to breed fast horses, give careful
attention to the mothers during the period of gestation. Their
every need and comfort are provided for, their stables are clean,
bright, well lighted; and without knowing to a certainty to what
extent the mare may appreciate pictures, her stable walls display
pictures of horses racing. Moreover, while in foal she is taken
where she can see horses in competition, racing, etc. All this
is designed to produce in the mother an ambition, the impression
of which reflected upon her embryo foal will be helpful, advantageous
to speed, and thus financially and otherwise profitable and pleasing
to the owner.
Human
parents have no such financial interest in their offspring; but
they have or ought to have a far deeper and an unselfish interest.
Their hopes and ambitions on behalf of their child should be to
see them well endowed as respects mental and moral qualities.
And although the New Creature cannot hope to beget his child to
a spirit nature (since this is not his province), he could hope
to give him such an earthly inheritance of good nature as would
be closely in sympathy with things spiritual. Such certainly should
be their desire, aim and hope. Many children have been begotten
by honest, God-fearing parents and have been correspondingly blessed,
and this influence, favorable to a high human standard, has gone
wherever the Gospel of Christ has gone. Hence, we have higher
types and standards more generally prevalent today in civilized
lands than in heathen lands, notwithstanding the fact that Christian
people generally have but imperfectly appreciated their privileges
and responsibilities in connection with their children.
The
sum of the argument is this: If the New Creatures mate, and purpose
the bringing forth of offspring according to the flesh, they should
school their minds and desires so that the moment of begettal
should not only be one of mutual love and respect, but one of
reverence for the Creator and of appreciation of the God-like
power of procreation bestowed upon them. It should be, additionally,
an
<PAGE 523> occasion of prayer for the divine
blessing; and every day and every hour subsequently, the interests
of the child should be conserved in all of life's arrangements.
It should not be considered a mere incident of life, but the most
important thing. It would be a special occasion for the exercise
of the graces of the spirit, which should previously have been
cultivated to a considerable extent--faith in God and in his promises,
hope, trust, patience, brotherly kindness, meekness, gentleness,
love. These, of course, prevail at all times amongst those who
are of the New Creation, but they should be on guard at such a
time because of their realization that they are influencing, stamping,
impressing character upon another generation.
So
far as possible the home should be bright and cheerful, the mind
directed to such channels as would be advantageous, reading, writing,
mathematics and the practical duties of life. Heart culture should
also be remembered-- cultivation along lines in fullest accord
with principles of justice, love and wisdom, with a continual
recognition of the Lord in all of life's affairs; with loving
confidences as between husband and wife, and kind and benevolent
feelings toward the world in general. With benevolence, justice,
love, associated with all of life's affairs, the conditions would
be most favorable; but such a condition could scarcely be imagined
without the fullest concurrence of the husband and without his
careful provision and oversight; for, as already suggested, the
mother at such a time is the least able to take the oversight
of matters, even when they are those which properly belong to
her own domain in the family. Then, also, the husband must be
the more careful to lead in conversation in the right manner,
to provide suitable and nourishing mental as well as material
food, and above all to stir up his wife's pure mind in regard
to the Lord and his glorious plan and all the features of the
divine character, its wisdom, love, beneficence, justice and power.
Many
Christian parents might reply to this, that they are not so circumstanced
in life as to have all the conveniences and comforts and freedom
from household and other cares
<PAGE 524> at such a time. We answer, that
we have merely marked out the ideal, and that it is for each of
the Lord's children to seek to attain as nearly as possible to
this ideal. But the New Creature should never forget that in this
as in all the other experiences of life, the Lord by his grace
and spirit makes up to him for all earthly disadvantages and lacks.
Such an one, unfavorably circumstanced in any degree, should the
more earnestly in prayer seek to have the heart filled with the
peace of God which passeth all understanding, and to let that
rule continually. One result of this peace in the heart is that,
however much disorder may unavoidably surround the mother, the
child would surely enjoy a larger measure of peace and love than
otherwise--more than its brothers and sisters born under other
circumstances would have. It should be less nervous and peevish,
more composed and peaceable, more disposed for righteousness in
principle and in conduct.
"Train
Up a Child in the Way He Should Go"
"He
that spareth his rod, hateth his son." (`Prov.
13:24`) "What son is he whom the Father chasteneth
not?" "If ye be without chastisement...then are ye...not
sons." `Heb. 12:7`
Nothing
is further from our intention than to urge indiscriminate and
frequent use of the rod in the training of children. We have cited
these scriptures, however, to show the mistaken position of those
who hold that corporal chastisement by parents, even when necessary,
is wrong. The home that is ruled with the rod must of necessity
be an unhappy home. The homes of the New Creatures should be ruled
by love not by the rod. The rod is to be kept merely as an occasional
necessity for enforcing the rules of love; and when it is administered
it is to be wielded by the hand of love and never by the hand
of anger. The New Creatures, governed by the spirit of a sound
mind, learn gradually that order is one of heaven's first laws,
and hence that it should be one of the first elements and characteristics
of the homes of the New Creatures. <PAGE
525>
Order,
however, does not of necessity mean absolute quiet, else the wilderness
and the silent cities of the dead would be the only places where
order would rule. Order may mean joy as well as peace, happiness
as well as rest, liberty as well as law. Order means law--with
New Creatures the Golden Rule and the Law of Love governing the
head of the house and his helpmate, as well as governing the children,
making of the parents ensamples to the children in all the Christian
graces. Law, even the Law of Love, means rewards and punishments,
and in the family the parents have the dispensing of these. According
to their realized weaknesses they, in turn, need direction from
the Heavenly Father that they may glorify him not only in their
own hearts and wills, but that their homes shall be earthly ensamples
of the homes of the righteous, the homes of those who have the
mind of Christ.
Their
rewards for their children should be in the provision of such
comforts and blessings as circumstances, under control of a recognized
providence, may permit. Their punishments may be more or less
severe according to the wilfulness of the child, but never according
to the standard of justice, never in the attempt to mete out to
the child the full measure of what its conduct might justly demand--because
we are not under justice ourselves, but under mercy, under love,
and are to show mercy, not only in our dealings with others, but
specially in our dealings with our own children, whose imperfections
and blemishes are, doubtless, traceable in a greater or less degree
to ourselves and our forebears. Love may sometimes punish by the
refusal of a kiss, as it may sometimes reward by the giving of
a kiss; it may sometimes for a season banish the unruly one from
the company of the obedient and from the pleasures provided for
them. The Law of Love may sometimes even exercise the rod of discipline
to the extent of denying supper or of giving merely the necessities,
bread and water, and withholding some of the additional comforts
and luxuries; or may sometimes wield the literal rod of chastisement
to enforce <PAGE 526>
obedience, and thus preserve the order and blessings of the home,
not only for the obedient children, but also for the chastised
one, whom it hopes thus to bless and bring into full accord.
It
is scarcely necessary to admonish the New Creation that they should
not use angry or harsh words to their children; for such know
that language of that kind is improper to any one under any circumstances.
On the contrary, their "speech should be with grace,"
with love, with kindness, even when reproving. Nor is it necessary
to suggest to the class we are addressing the impropriety of a
hasty blow, which might do injury to the child not only physically--
perhaps permanently injuring its hearing--but also wound its affections,
develop in it a fear of the parent instead of love, which should
be considered the only proper groundwork on which the obedience
and order of the home are built. Furthermore, the hasty blow or
cutting remark would be wrong, would indicate a wrong condition
of mind on the part of the parent--a condition unfavorable to
a proper, just decision of the matter along the lines of the Law
of Love. The parent owes it to himself as a part of his own discipline,
as well as to his child, that he shall never inflict a punishment
which he has not sufficiently considered, and coolly and dispassionately
found to be not more, but less, than justice might
properly demand. He owes it to himself also that the child shall
fully understand the situation, the necessity for the preservation
of order in the home, that the happiness of the home may continue
to the blessing of all its inmates; that the child understand
thoroughly also that the parent has no anger toward him, no malice,
no hatred, nothing but sympathy and love and the desire to do
him good.
Earthly
parents may attempt such control, but they will lack an important
help in its prosecution; for not having submitted themselves fully
and completely to the heavenly Father and his control and his
Word, they cannot point, as would the New Creature, to the divine
Law and their accountability, and their acknowledgment of and
endeavors <PAGE 527> to
be obedient to the same. Christian parents have--if they will
use it--an immense leverage of advantage in dealing with their
children. They should read to their children, from the Word, the
divine sanction of parental authority--the divine requirement
that a parent shall train up a child in the way he should go;
and additionally he should point out the necessity for this--because
we all are fallen and unable to come up to the divine standard,
etc.; that all these means and corrections are necessary as helps
to the counteraction of evil tendencies under which we have been
born. It is a great mistake to suppose that children's minds do
not appreciate these principles, do not appreciate right and wrong
and the appropriateness of just penalties for wrongdoing, as well
as of rewards for welldoing.
Many
parents forget to look backward and to note at how early an age
they themselves learned to appreciate principles of righteousness--to
appreciate the parental care which neglected not to reprove, to
correct, and even to chastise as seemed necessary. Let us recall,
too, how keen was our sense of justice when we were children--how
we mentally approved parental discipline when we understood its
motive to be for the development of character, but how we resented
it if we did not see a principle of justice, if we were reproved
or otherwise punished for things of which we were not guilty,
or if we were punished beyond a reasonable chastisement comporting
with the offense. Not only is it the best and surest way of controlling
a child thus to direct its mind along the lines of right and wrong,
truth and falsehood, justice and injustice, but this constitutes
also a training of the child in character, when it is most
susceptible to parental influence. It is character-building at
a time when the conscience and judgment of the child are in their
formative condition, and when it properly recognizes the parent
as its sole lawgiver. If this work of character-building be ignored
in infancy, the work is many times more difficult in future years,
besides the disadvantages that will accrue both to parent and
child and neighbors and friends in the interim.
<PAGE 528>
It
is all-important, then, to notice that the training of a child
does not consist solely in teaching it respecting its outward
deportment in politeness, cleanliness, obedience, etc., but further,
and indeed chiefly, in the establishment of right principles
in the heart--proper recognition there of the mind of the
Lord as being the only standard of living, both for old and young.
The Golden Rule, the Law of Love, of generosity, meekness, patience,
gentleness, forbearance, should be inculcated as respects the
child's relationship to other members of the family, to playmates,
etc. The child that is taught to be selfish, or one whose natural
selfishness is not brought kindly to his attention (though not
in the presence of others) and lovingly reproved and corrected,
is missing a most important lesson at the most opportune moment.
The
parent who neglects such an opportunity for giving instructions
and corrections of the mind and judgment, as well as of outward
conduct, is not only missing the most favorable opportunity in
respect to his child, but is allowing weeds to grow in the heart
garden where only the graces of the spirit should grow; and is
thus laying up more or less of trouble for himself in dealing
with that child throughout future years. Many of the heartaches
and tears of well-intentioned parents over the waywardness, wilfulness,
selfishness and "wild oats" of their children might
have been spared them had they done their duty by those children
in infancy. Furthermore, such parents lose a great blessing in
their own experiences; for it is undoubtedly true that the parent
who is properly training his child in unselfishness, love, obedience,
reverence to God, helpfulness to his fellow-creatures, etc., etc.,
will be getting valuable experiences for himself--growing in grace,
growing in knowledge and growing in love, while endeavoring to
teach these principles to his child. He will learn, too, that
the child will expect to find him illustrating in his daily
conduct and in his relationship to God and to the members of his
family, and to his fellowmen, the principles he seeks to inculcate
in others. This will make him the more careful of his own words,
his <PAGE 529> own conduct;
and such carefulness, such circumspection of all the little affairs
of life, public and private, will assuredly develop in such a
parent more and more of the graces of the Lord's Spirit, thus
making him more and more acceptable to the Lord, and preparing
and perfecting him for the Kingdom.
The
atmosphere of the home, however poor, should be one of purity.
Absolute purity in thought, word and deed we know to be impossible
in our present conditions, just as material purity is absolutely
impossible where the air is full of soot and dust. But every Christian
home should be as nearly absolutely clean as possible--as free
from the outward soil and filth as circumstances will permit,
and as free from moral obliquity and defilement as the imperfect
earthen vessels can be made. Every child should be able to look
back upon its home, however humble, however scantily furnished,
as a clean place, a house of God, a holy place. He should be able
to look back and in memory recall the voice of prayer at the family
altar, the kind words of father or mother on various occasions,
and the general spirit of peace and restfulness through contentment
and submission to the divine providence. He should be able to
sense the sweet odor of love pervading the home and associated
with every member of it, manifesting itself in meekness, gentleness,
kindness, helpfulness.
A
child bred to and reared in such an atmosphere of love may be
expected to desire to please the Lord and to obey him from the
earliest moments of his consciousness; and from the time he reaches
ten to twelve years of age he should be encouraged to consider
the propriety of a full consecration to the Lord--to remember
that his standing before the Lord during the period of immaturity
of judgment is through the parent, but that in proportion as maturity
of mind is reached the Lord expects a personal consecration. Should
such a child thus trained, neglect or refuse to make consecration
to the Lord, we may be sure that the home influences would still
continue, although <PAGE 530>
when years of maturity had been reached and no covenant with the
Lord had been made, such an one may properly hesitate to approach
the throne of grace--hesitate to claim of the Lord the blessing
he has promised to those who are his, because he has refused
to become his. Nevertheless, to such there will still cling a
precious memory of the seasons of approach to the throne of grace
and of divine watchcare over the home of infancy and over themselves,
and there will continually be a longing for the divine protection
and for the privilege of approaching the Creator with the cry,
"Abba, Father," and the realization of relationship
to him. Should such an one become a parent, he will instinctively
feel a desire to train his children as he was trained, and all
these influences will gradually draw more and more upon his heart,
and the strong probabilities are that at least by that time he
will consecrate. In any event, the influences of a godly home
will have been with him, a holy protection from many of the excesses
under which otherwise he might have fallen.
Contrast
such a home, with its sweet odor of love, kindness, patience,
gentleness, with the home in which the Lord's Spirit is not manifested--the
home in which selfishness is the law, in which the child notes
the quarrels between the parents, and how each seeks his own at
the expense of the other, in which the child hears little but
chiding, complaining, faultfinding, angry words, harsh sounds,
etc. These become contagious amongst the children, and they in
turn quarrel over their little affairs, speak angrily to each
other, and keep the household in perpetual turmoil. The continued
practice of selfishness in the home develops this organ in the
mind and in the conduct of the child.
If
in an angry voice the parent calls it "a little rascal,"
and the feelings of the child, at first hurt by such reflections
against its character, become toughened, it gradually learns to
glory in being a little rascal. When first it hears the angry
and impatient mother exclaim, "I'll thrash you within an
inch of your life!" or "I'll break your back!"
no doubt there is a measure of terror conveyed by the words to
<PAGE 531> the heart of
the child, but it is not long in learning that these are idle
threats, from which it has comparatively little to fear; and gradually
as it learns that the civil laws of the land would not permit
the parent to do it serious violence, the childish mind concludes
that the parent had the will to do it evil, but simply lacked
the liberty. From such a little mind much of the original instinct
of love is driven out. It finds its parent equally untruthful
in respect to promises-- that the promises are frequently given
without the slightest intention of their fulfilment. Thus the
child is taught to lie, to threaten, to promise, to deceive others
in respect to its real intentions. Is there any wonder that such
a child grows up a hard character? The wonder, rather, is that
between the bad training, the indifferent training and no training
at all the civilized world is not a great deal worse than it is.
Children
Born in Justification
In
all these matters the New Creature has a decided advantage over
all others in respect to his children. They should, to begin with,
be better born, better endowed at birth. And this prenatal endowment
should be fostered from the very earliest moments of infancy.
The babe of a few days is pretty sure to be nervous and irritable
and distressed if the mother is so; an influence goes to the child,
not only through the mother's milk, but telepathically, electrically,
from her person to the child. What a general advantage, then,
the New Creature has in the indwelling of the Spirit of the Lord,
with its peace, love and joy; and how favored is the infant under
such care! Humanly speaking, how great are its possibilities as
compared with the possibilities of others in respect to noble
manhood and womanhood; and, speaking from the standpoint of the
Lord's Word, how great is its advantage when we remember that
the children of the Lord's consecrated people, like themselves,
are under the supervision of divine providence in respect to all
of their affairs; that the children of believers, too, come under
the terms of the promise that "all things shall work together
for good" to them! <PAGE 532>
It
is not difficult to see that the children of New Creatures have
a tentatively justified standing with God, in virtue of
the relationship of their parents to him and to them. As the disobedience
and alienation of Adam and Eve from the heavenly Father brought
alienation to all their offspring, so, too, the reconciliation
of the Lord's people, through the merits of the great atonement,
not only brings them back to harmony with God, but their children
as well are counted justified through their parents, and on account
of their parents, up to such a time as the child shall have an
intelligence and will of his own. The question is more complex,
however, when one parent is the Lord's and the other is a stranger
and alien from him; but the Apostle assures us that in such a
case God counts the child as his, through whichever one of its
parents is the Lord's disciple. The influence of the believing
parent, the consecrated parent, is counted as offsetting and overruling
the influence of the unconsecrated parent, so far as the child
is concerned. On this subject the Apostle says:
"Else Were Your Children Unholy
[Sinful, Condemned]."
"The
unbelieving husband is sanctified by the [believing] wife, and
the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the [believing] husband
[in respect to the subject under consideration, viz., the offspring
of their wedlock]; else were your children unholy [sinners under
condemnation, unjustified, unrelated to God, aliens from his care
and blessing]; but now [in view of this provision of divine grace]
are they holy [that is, in a tentatively justified state with
God, through which he may treat them, not as enemies]." `1
Cor. 7:14`
The
question of the proper training of children may be a difficult
one, but not too difficult for the Lord to manage; and, hence,
the parent who has become a Christian may expect the Lord's grace
proportionately to abound in respect to his affairs, and should
seek the more earnestly for the wisdom <PAGE
533> and help that come from above, that he may
be rightly able to discharge his duties under the most trying
circumstances. The Lord's grace is sufficient for us in every
condition. The fact of the one being a New Creature, and the other
an unbeliever, or unconsecrated, does not alter the divine arrangement
in respect to the headship of the family. This still devolves
upon the husband, and if a New Creature he must direct in respect
to the affairs of his family as best he is able under the circumstances,
and guided by the promised wisdom from on high. If the wife be
the New Creature, her soundness of mind, devotion to principles
of righteousness, her gentleness, meekness, thoughtfulness, carefulness,
should make her such a jewel in the family, should cause her light
so to shine before her husband, that he might take pleasure in
giving her practically the full control of the children, for which
he would discern her to be specially adapted. Any rule or authority
she should exercise, however, would be delegated by her husband,
who, whether saint or sinner, is the responsible head of his family.
Likewise
the husband, letting his light shine, should expect that ere long
his wife, as well as his children, would discern his difference
from irreligious men, his spirit of love, his gentleness and helpfulness,
and spirit of a sound mind. Nevertheless, if these results, which
ought to be expected, do not come--if the greater the faithfulness
the worse the treatment from the unbelieving partner--even to
the extent that a separation might be necessary, let us remember
that the Lord's counsel forewarned us that such might be our experience;
saying, "Think it not strange concerning the fiery trial
which shall try you"; and again, "A man's foes shall
be they of his own household." And again, "I have not
come to send peace on the earth but a sword." My message,
although it is a message of peace and blessing in the present
time, frequently results in strife, because the children of darkness
hate the light, and because many of them, under the deception
of the Adversary and the weaknesses of their
<PAGE 534> own fallen nature, will wage a
continual warfare against it. Think it not strange, consider it
a part of your trial, endure it as a part of the divine will,
until the Lord shall open up a door of escape.
Some
who have become the Lord's consecrated people, members of the
New Creation, appeal for advice, saying: "In my early Christian
experience in the nominal Church I was mistaught. I was led to
understand that when I got religion, got saved, I needed nothing
more, but simply to go regularly to Church and pay my dues. I
got little or no instruction respecting the necessity for rooting
out sin and selfishness from my own heart, and receiving in its
stead more and more of the Spirit of the Lord, with its wealth
of love and all the inner graces associated therewith. I gave
any extra time and energy to helping my husband in his business,
and to striving to get up in the world, and was left in ignorance
of the meaning of my begetting of the Spirit, and that I should
be cultivating a newness of mind which would be striving less
and less for the earthly things and more and more for the heavenly
character and graces and power and growth. During this time my
children were born. I presume they inherited these traits of mine
which I was cultivating at the time I was carrying them, and after
their birth I realized that they were sadly neglected as respects
what I now see to be the proper training the child should receive,
the proper duty of a parent who is a New Creature in Christ Jesus.
Now my children are wild, wayward, selfish, disobedient. They
not only lack reverence for God, but also lack reverence for me,
and my religious views. What can I do with them? I realize the
Lord's forgiveness, through Christ, for my ignorant failure of
duty toward them in the past. I realize, too, that I am merely
reaping what I sowed, and that my present experiences are only
a just retribution for my carelessness of duty in the past. Oh,
where was my Christian sense? How devoid I was of the spirit of
a sound mind, and where were my religious instructors and guides,
who not only mistaught me respecting the divine character and
plan, but who did not even instruct
<PAGE 535> me respecting the simplest of natural
duties--my parental obligations? Alas, I perceive that I spent
my money in their support for that which was not bread, for that
which satisfieth not--temporally or spiritually! But now what
is my duty? What course should I pursue? How may I rectify so
far as possible my neglect of the past?"
Our
reply to such inquiries is that in this as in other matters the
Lord's people should not sorrow as those who have no hope. The
Lord, undoubtedly, will be pleased to find us regretful for having
failed of duty in the past, and he no doubt will be pleased to
have us ask his forgiveness for such shortcomings, and to have
us promise greater faithfulness henceforth in seeking for and
pursuing our obligations toward those dependent upon us. He would
surely be pleased to have us take present experiences with unruly
children with patience, with forebearance, as a part of that chastisement
for sins of omission or of commission in respect to their training;
and thus received, these trials may serve for our polishing and
preparation for the Kingdom.
As
for the duty of such a parent toward such children, it would unquestionably
be to begin by teaching them the lessons they should have been
taught in infancy, concerning responsibility toward the Lord,
the principles of right, of justice, of love toward each other
and toward all. And this instruction should be given with great
love and forebearance and patience, which would be a notable lesson
to the child of the power of grace in the parent's heart. According
to the age of the child and other related circumstances --the
extent to which wrong principles had become rooted, etc.--results
should be waited for with patience; and such restrictions
as seemed absolutely necessary should be applied with gentleness
and consideration and explanations. Parental authority should
be established kindly, not rudely. Children who have been in the
habit of ruling the household should not be expected to become
good and obedient children instantaneously. Wisdom from on high
should be sought in respect to the details of the home arrangements
and government, for no outsider is competent
<PAGE 536> to understand thoroughly all the
affairs of the family of another, nor to give specific directions
respecting its proper government.
Two
principles should guide: First of all, love for the Lord and for
the children, and this love should be guided and directed by the
Word of God; and secondly, the Word of God, as the source of authority
and instruction, should be continually appealed to. Furthermore,
all parents should learn to treat children with consideration.
Whether they be children properly trained or otherwise, they should
realize that the parent respects their consciences and their judgments,
and endeavors to deal with them in harmony with these elements
of character. Especially as the child reaches a condition of manhood
or womanhood should his or her reason be appealed to, and in the
same proportion force and corporal chastisement should be abandoned.
The
principle of justice, to which we have already referred, is to
be found to some extent in almost every human being, and especially
if the sense of justice is found to cooperate with selfishness.
Thus, when the age of manhood or womanhood is reached the child
instinctively feels that he has passed a line, and should no longer
be treated as a child, but as a companion; should no longer be
commanded in anything, but requested; should no longer
be required to give a strict account in detail of all moneys
earned, but should be permitted a larger discretion and personality
than previously. Wise, just, loving parents should not attempt
a violation of these rights of maturity; but rather seek from
that period onward to deal with the child as with a younger brother
or sister--as adviser and best friend. Good parents are sometimes
unwise and unjust in this respect, and take advantage of the authority
which the child has recognized up to this time. They ignore its
new estate of manhood or womanhood, and attempt to perpetuate
the imperativeness of parental authority as before; and these
sometimes meet with a measure of success, but never, we believe,
to their own real advantage nor to the real advantage of their
children. They know, as well as does their child, that they are
<PAGE 537> taking advantage of the docility
of the child, and that if the child would set up a rebellion,
matters would speedily be adjusted differently. They should consider
that their course is prejudicial to the child's real affection
for them. He sees this evidence of selfishness and injustice in
the conduct of parents of whose sentiments he had previously thought
differently. Filial love is thus sapped at its very roots, and
the parents are apt to learn the mistake of such a course before
they die, even if it succeed temporarily. We do not mean to imply
that the obligations of the child toward the parent cease when
the years of maturity are reached. Quite the contrary. We hold,
in harmony with the civil law of the world, that a child is obligated
to the maintenance of the parent so long as the parent shall live,
and the child shall have the strength to provide the necessaries.
Our argument is that while, prior to maturity, the parent had
full control, after maturity the child has a personality and individuality
which should be recognized and appealed to. It is the duty of
the child to make provision for the parent, but properly appealed
to, the provision should be the more promptly and lovingly made.
The obligation of the child to aged parents for their support
corresponds exactly with the responsibility of the parent for
the care and reasonable support of the child in infancy and immaturity.
The parent who has done justly and lovingly by his child will
surely rarely be left to want while that child shall have strength
to provide.
While
considering the duties of parents toward the children, various
questions arise respecting the proper amount of education, the
reasonable restraints as respects the kind of reading and information
with which the mind is stored. We are of those who appreciate
highly the value of an education; and yet we believe that great
wisdom should be exercised in respect to what constitutes an education.
Education is like polish. Almost any stone may be made to look
beautiful by careful polishing, but careful polishing is not alike
valuable or helpful to all stones. In the case of a diamond or
a ruby or other precious stone, polishing is absolutely necessary
to the development of the latent qualities
<PAGE 538> of the stone; without the facets,
the glories and brilliancies of the stone could not be appreciated
nor shed their luster. But the same polishing bestowed upon a
cobblestone from the street would be a waste of energy; worse
than that, it would make the cobblestone too valuable, too nice,
for use as a cobblestone. Moreover, it would be less fit for its
duties as a cobblestone after being faced than if it had been
let alone, or merely chipped in a general way, to make it fit
its place.
And
so we perceive it is in respect to education, the polishing of
the mind with a "classical course" in college. Some
would be benefited by such a course, while others would be injured.
Who has not seen men so educated that they could not occupy the
place in life for which their natural talents fitted them? They
were over-educated, and, like the man in the parable, they could
not dig, and to beg they were ashamed, and for anything else unfit.
If in the Lord's providence the parents found that they had a
child of very brilliant mind, and if that providence guided their
affairs so that financial and other considerations opened the
way for a collegiate course to such a child, they might well consider
whether or not these indications were the Lord's direction in
respect to their duty to the child, and should follow their convictions.
Nevertheless, in sending him to college at the present time they
should feel a great trepidation, a great fear, lest this outward
polish in the wisdom of this world should efface all the polish
of faith and character and heart which they as the parents and
proper instructors of the child had been bestowing upon it from
infancy and before.
The
Lord's people of the New Creation should learn to appreciate the
education of heart and character and faith in God as a superior
education in every respect to anything that could be attained
in the schools of this world--that the "wisdom from above,
first pure, then peaceable, easy of entreatment, full of mercy
and good works," is more to be desired than all the wisdom
of earth. They should consider well whether their child was so
thoroughly rooted and
<PAGE 539> grounded in character, in principle,
in loyalty to the Lord and his Word, that the infidel tendencies
of the schools of our day, and their rationalistic teachings called
Higher Criticism, Evolution, etc., could never displace the well-grounded
faith in the Lord and in his Word. Indeed, the danger is so great
that we would rather be inclined to be content with such education
as could be obtained in the public schools and high schools or
preparatory schools.
We
write with full consciousness that to the worldly minded this
advice is foolishness or worse. Nevertheless, we have learned
to view matters from what we believe to be the divine standpoint,
and recommend that all of the Lord's consecrated people shall
endeavor in this and in all matters to seek this standpoint--the
Lord's view of this matter. We might add, further, that in the
strenuous times in which we are living, with the rush and bustle
and nervousness of our day, the person who spends his life until
twenty-one years of age in school, being polished for the activities
of life, has missed another kind of schooling that is attained
by the boy who, finishing his high school course at, say fourteen
or fifteen years of age, has a further course of training in business
of some kind, "climbing the ladder." By the time he
has had six years schooling in practical business, the probabilities
are that he will be much better able to cope with present conditions
than the youth who has spent the same number of years under college
training.
As
for play: One of the chief advantages from play is the pleasurable
exercise connected with it, for it is undoubtedly a fact that
exercise taken with pleasure is much more profitable than exactly
the same exercise would be if taken as a drudgery. By some unknown
chemistry of our systems the mind and its moods have to do with
all the functions of life. Our happy moods cooperate best with
all the forces and functions of nature for the upbuilding of our
systems and the repairing of its wastes. But it is a mistaken
idea that insists that that which is useful is a drudgery and
only that which is useless is a pleasure, a play. We are of the
opinion
<PAGE 540> that a wrong thought connected
with this matter has led many reasonable people to cultivate playfulness
and idleness when, on the contrary, they should have been resisting
the natural impulses of the fallen nature in these directions.
The kindergarten is a movement of comparatively recent times,
in what we esteem to be a very right direction--the making of
instruction pleasurable to the child. And all subsequent pleasure,
favored by the wise parent, should be somewhat along the same
line--nothing should be approved that is merely a waste of time
and energy.
Relaxation
and recreation should be secured chiefly through change of occupation,
rather than through idleness or useless exercise. The little girl
takes pleasure in dressing her doll and caring for it, and "playing
house." The little boy "plays shop," and with sand,
etc., as substitutes, he makes imaginary dealings in tea and coffee
and sugar and potatoes; or he "plays horse," teamster,
or imagines himself a preacher or a missionary or a schoolteacher
or a doctor. All such plays are in the right direction, and should
be encouraged in the little ones. As they grow older they should
be drawn from these to consider it as a part of their recreation
to help keep the home in order or to assist in the real store
or shop with their parents or guardians or others. If they be
taught to take pleasure in usefulness, helpfulness to others,
financially or otherwise; if they be taught that idleness is a
sin and a shame, a discredit to any person and a waste of valuable
opportunities, they will be in a proper attitude to face the duties
of life with pleasure, and not to envy those who waste both time
and money in looking at a ball game, or in participating in something
equally foolish and profitless.
Economy
of time as well as of means should be inculcated from infancy--not
with a view to cultivating selfishness, but an economy in accord
with the divine will that nothing be wasted. The Master, after
feeding the multitude, commanded that the fragments be gathered
and not wasted, thus indicating his mind in respect to all affairs,
that there be no wastefulness; that we recognize a responsibility
<PAGE 541> toward him for every moment, every
dollar, every day; not a responsibility which would keep us in
fear, but a responsibility which delights to note the divine will,
to be as fully in accord with it as possible, and which realizes
that such a course is pleasing to the Lord, and, therefore, may
be thoroughly enjoyed.
The
Proper Exercise of the Child-Mind
As
the child grows and realizes how much there is in the world to
learn, he should be encouraged to read, but from the first he
should be taught to discriminate wisely between the "chips"
of fiction and the "apples" of knowledge. He should
be shown that every chip stored away in his mind is worse than
valueless, an injury or encumbrance, besides having cost valuable
time, which might have been used to advantage in storing up knowledge,
shortly so necessary in the proper discharge of the duties of
life. He should be encouraged to read such books as would give
information, and not novels. He should know considerable respecting
the history of his native land, and have a reasonable knowledge
of the remainder of the world. He can secure these through histories:
we do not mean merely the histories which give the order of kingdoms
and battles and generals but more particularly such works as show
the social, moral and intellectual development of the ages past,
and of the world as it is today. In a pleasant and kindly manner
the child should be shown the importance of such information as
a feature of education for his future--his reason and judgment
should be appealed to, and thus his will enlisted in favor of
such educative reading, and in opposition to all weedy, trashy,
dreamy literature, that will do him harm and leave him unprepared
for the duties of life.
The
Scourge of Evil Suggestions
The
following appeared in a criticism of a novel recently, in the
columns of the Church Standard. It illustrates the worst
side of the lesson we would inculcate:
"One
of the most awful thoughts connected with this
<PAGE 542> subject is the permanence of foul
impressions in the human memory. Years ago--no matter how many,
and whether in this country or another need not be told--a gentlewoman
lay upon her deathbed. She was still young and had lived a more
than usually sheltered life. In every act and word she had been
purity incarnate. It was not believed that she had ever had an
opportunity to hear one foul syllable in all her life. Yet, in
her delirium, she poured out in the hearing of friends and attendants
a torrent of obscene imprecations at which they stood aghast.
Where she could ever have heard such words they could not imagine,
and they never learned. But were they therefore to infer that
she had secretly loved and gloated over them? Not so. The true
inference is this, that, having heard them in some evil hour,
she had utterly detested them, and that, in her very effort to
forget them, she had so fixed them in her memory that they abode
with her until the hour of death. That is not only the charitable
view, it is the just view, and it is the reasonable view. But
it would not always hold. When the mind and the imagination have
been opened and kept open for many hours or days to the reception
of unclean thoughts, and the contemplation of obscene pictures,
who shall tell the depraving effect of such mental association?
Of all the evil things in this world of many evils, we know none
so awfully appalling in its subtlety and permanence of corrupting
influence as a bad book written by a man of genius."
The
religious element of the child's mind requires special training,
and in this the Christian parent should be his tutor. In the present
confused condition of the world on religious subjects, and their
more advanced attitude as respects common school and public instruction,
any attempt to teach any kind of religion is sure to be in opposition
to the prejudices or conscientious convictions of some of those
interested. Hence, justice demands that public schools be freed
from all religious coloring, instruction, forms and ceremonies.
Notwithstanding our reverence for the Bible as the Word of God,
we believe that the fact that the Jews are
<PAGE 543> opposed to the teachings of the
New Testament, that many under the influence of Higher Criticism
are opposed to much of the Old Testament as well as the New, that
some infidels, skeptics, Buddhists, Theosophists, etc., are opposed
to the Bible entirely, while others disagree with the common translation--in
view also of the fact that all of these classes are taxed for
the support of the schools and required to take advantage of them--it
would be both just and wise to omit religious exercises in the
schools, and ignore the Bible as a religious book, intruding it,
if at all, merely as an ancient history, rather than give offense
to so many who do not agree with us.
In
view of our recognized reverence for the Bible as the inspired
Word of God, this suggestion may possibly seem strange to some;
but we believe it to be the proper course, in harmony with the
Golden Rule. True, we may be in so small a minority that our influence,
if we chose to exert it, would be powerless, nor should New Creatures
consider it their duty to become advocates of this, any more than
of other moral reforms. All New Creatures have a higher, a grander
mission in connection with the development of the New Creation,
and can, therefore, well afford to leave all such moral reforms
in the hands of the world for the present, until the Kingdom comes.
Nevertheless, it is eminently proper that we should have the spirit
of a sound mind and fullest accord with justice, even though no
suitable opportunity for expressing our sentiments on this subject
shall ever occur.
In
any event, surely six hours a day for five days in the week, and
for less than six years in a lifetime, is quite little enough
to be devoted to the numerous lessons in secular matters which
are crowded upon the children of our day. This appropriation of
time for secular study leaves to the parents, and their chosen
spiritual guides, quite an abundance of time for imparting whatever
kind of religious instruction may seem best to them. Out of 168
hours of each week secular studies surely deserve all of the thirty
hours
<PAGE 544> per week appropriated to them--especially
in view of the fact that the strenuous times in which we live
frequently hinder the child from getting more than three years
of such training.
The
Influence of Sunday Schools
The
Sunday School has become a great institution throughout Christendom.
If it be considered in the light of a children's social club,
which draws them together once a week and directs their minds
out of the ordinary workday channels and in a general social and
religious direction, it might be esteemed that the Sunday School
has accomplished considerable in the world--especially for the
lower classes of society. As for the effect of Sunday Schools
upon the children of believers, we regard it as injurious. We
are aware, however, that such a sentiment will be thought extreme
until our reasons are fully appreciated. They are these:
(1)
The Sunday Schools have been injurious to Christian parents, in
that they have led them to consider themselves relieved of the
parental responsibility placed upon them by the Lord. The Sunday
School teacher is often thoroughly incapable for such a responsibility,
often a novice as respects children and their proper training--seldom
one who professes entire consecration and begetting of the holy
Spirit. Such a teacher is given the place of the parent in respect
to the most important of all parental duties. The loss experienced
by Christian parents, through this arrangement, is almost incalculable.
It is a recognized principle in spiritual things that he that
watereth others is himself watered. And so the parent who diligently
instructs and guides his children in moral and spiritual matters
not only confers a blessing upon them, but receives a great blessing
in connection with the service himself. This blessing Christian
parents of today are missing, because of having unwittingly departed
from the divine arrangement.
(2)
The Sunday School is a decided disadvantage to the children of
Christian parents, because they do not get from the Sunday School
teachers the kind of instruction which
<PAGE 545> the intelligent and conscientious
parent could and should give.
(3)
The Sunday School arrangement is reacting disadvantageously upon
both parent and child from another standpoint: it is causing the
children to lose respect for their parents, and is cultivating
thus a lack of parental dignity on the one hand, and of filial
reverence on the other. Undoubtedly it has much to do with the
present-day condition of the so-called "Christian world,"
in the matter of disobedience to parents, family insubordination,
etc. The religious organs of the human mind lie on the top of
the head, and should be the dominating ones when they are active
and properly developed. Veneration is one of these, and it needs
directing. If the child sees that the parent venerates God and
his Word, and is instructed from this source, he has before him
an object lesson which should be valuable to him throughout life,
going down in turn to his children; but if he sees the parent's
veneration turned from God and his Word and directed toward a
clerical class, so as to receive supposed divine messages through
them, and without the exercise of reason or the study of God's
Word, the influence upon the child is that of superstition and
subordination to priest-craft--an unhealthy condition as respects
spiritual development.
If
in addition the child be sent to a Sunday School teacher to receive
instruction respecting the Bible, the lesson to the infant mind
is that the parent is incapable of giving this instruction; and
that as the parent is instructed by a clergy of a supposedly superior
rank, if not of a different nature, so the child is to consider
his Sunday School teacher from a somewhat similar standpoint.
The entire effect is to rob the parent of the child's esteem and
reverence.
On
the contrary, the child who has been properly taught from the
Scriptural standpoint, that God has spoken through his Word, and
that he has arranged that some of his children shall assist others
in the expounding and understanding of the Word, and that the
parent is one of these instructed ones, and a fully authorized
priest of God in his
<PAGE 546> own family, to teach--the appointed
teacher of his own family--that child unconsciously attaches a
religious reverence to the parent as God intended. And thus the
divine arrangement would give that parent a larger measure of
wholesome influence over his child while life shall last. Furthermore,
the parent, after having inculcated the Scripture lessons, after
having pointed out from the Word of God the divine standards of
life, of character, of thought and word and action, and the Golden
Rule of life--such a parent would find himself greatly strengthened
in his own practice of the teachings of the Word. He would feel
bound to exemplify his own teaching, and would realize that even
infant minds are able to make applications of these religious
rules to the affairs of daily life.
Such
a parent would find himself seeking to live nearer and nearer
to the standard which he proclaims as the divine one; and in case
of failure in any special degree would get a blessing from making
a confession of his failure before those cognizant of it, even
if they were his own children. Thus all--parents and children--would
learn more and more to appreciate the divine standard, and to
look to the Lord for mercy and forgiveness; and thus even occasional
shortcomings of the parent might become to the child permanent
lessons in humility and contrition and submission to divine law.
(4)
Evidently many make as great a mistake in respect to the proper
functions of the Sunday School as in respect to their thought
that the Lord and the apostles erred in not establishing the Church
in its present sectarian condition-- in imagining that in dividing
the Church of Christ they have accomplished a work of wisdom;
that greater results are attained through denominationalism and
creed divisions than would have been obtained had the Lord's plan
been strictly followed, viz., "One Lord, one faith, one baptism,"
one Church.
The
Sunday School as originally started was proper enough. It began
as a "ragged school" in Gloucester, England,
<PAGE 547> in 1781, A.D. Robert Raikes, editor
of the Gloucester Journal, a Christian man, employed four
Christian women to teach the children of from ten to fourteen
years of age reading, writing, sewing, etc., from 10 A.M. until
noon every Sunday; and on Sunday afternoon to teach them the catechism
and take them to church. From that small beginning the great Sunday
School work of the present time has developed. The plan was evidently
a good one, and not at all out of accord with the institutions
of the Lord and of the apostles. It only came to be out of harmony
with these when it displaced the Christian parent as the preceptor
of his children.
Our
advice to every member of the New Creation is that, whatever the
mistakes of the past in respect to neglect of parental responsibilities
as the religious teachers of their own children, they should begin
to recognize and fulfil this duty at once--the circumstances,
etc., varying with the ages of the children, and with the degree
of insubordination and parental disrespect which they may have
already taken on, which should be plucked up gently, gradually,
lovingly, with the remembrance that the fault has been largely
that of the parent in the neglect of a divinely appointed responsibility.
Neither we nor others are wiser than God, nor should we or others
presume to improve upon the general principles laid down by the
Head of the Church and the twelve apostles whom
he appointed to be our instructors and guides. Hence we are not
to reverence or perpetuate institutions of men, however they may
have become intrenched, and however grand and imposing may be
their appearance and their claims. They must all be judged by
the one standard--the divine Word. If they agree not with the
Lord's Word it is because there is "no light in them"--
they are not of God. `Isa. 8:20`
The
Confidence of Children
If
the confidence of the child in the parent have its roots in a
recognition of the fact that the parent is a member of
<PAGE 548> the Royal Priesthood, a child of
God, and that the parent has fellowship with God through prayer
and is instructed by God through his Word--ministers being merely
assistants in the understanding of the Word, etc.--and if additionally,
the spirit of love and its various graces of meekness and patience
and kindness pervade the home and flow through its various channels,
and if the parents seek and exercise the wisdom that cometh from
above, pure, peaceable, merciful, the child's confidence will
naturally rest in that parent in respect to all of life's affairs.
Then the many questions naturally presenting themselves to the
opening mind--religious, moral, secular, social and physical--will
all be carried most naturally to such a parent.
Such
questions should be expected and invited, and should be given
wise and respectful answers, according to the age of the child.
Confidential questions should never be treated lightly nor confidences
broken. Many a parent forfeits the future confidence of his child
by making light of its sentiments or secrets. We do not mean that
all questions should be answered in full (regardless of age);
a very partial answer may be wisest sometimes, with the suggestion
that a full explanation of the matter will be given later--perhaps
setting a date--as for instance, "I will explain the matter
to you fully when you are thirteen years of age if your mind and
character then seem to be sufficiently developed to make this
the proper course. You may come to me with the question then,
and in the meantime should dismiss it entirely from your mind."
To
the rightly trained child this course will at once commend itself,
and in any event it should understand that the parent's word is
positive, that it had not been given without mature consideration,
and that once given it must stand, until some further information
on the subject should alter the judgment of the parent. A proper
observance of the Lord's words, "Let your yea by yea, and
your nay, nay," would save many parents much trouble, and
greatly promote the general peace and order of the household.
From
<PAGE 549> earliest infancy the child should
learn obedience, and that without a repetition of the command.
But this in turn implies a recognition on the part of the parent
of his responsibilities, and a desire on his part to grant all
the reasonable requests of his children, so far as his circumstances
will permit. Love, wisdom, and justice must combine in the parent
in order to make his power and authority valuable to the home
and all of its members.
The
Power of Suggestion in Child Training
Few
recognize the importance of the human will in respect to
health and sickness, joy and pain, obedience and disobedience,
right doing and wrong doing--indeed in respect to every act and
word and thought of life. And the child-will is specially susceptible
to impressions and suggestions while the child-mind is opening
to the affairs of life, and the foundations of its character are
being laid. Suggestion and mind-impression stand related to clairvoyance,
hypnotism and the subtle influence exercised by Christian Scientists--but
we are advocating only those suggestions which are truthful, helpful,
strengthening to the child's will and in full accord with the
divine Word, and no more.
The
Bible is full of suggestion--all proper preaching is in the nature
of suggestion--that selfish and sinful thoughts and acts bring
divine disfavor and react to our disadvantage; but that loving
thoughts, words and deeds yield blessed fruits to others as well
as to ourselves for the future as well as for the present. Mark
how the Apostle, after pointing out the results of wilful sinning
to be Second Death, turns and declares suggestively, and
therefore helpfully to many: "But we are not of them that
draw back, but of those who believe to the saving of their souls."
(`Heb. 10:39`) The suggestions of
Christian Science are, on the contrary, false--"There is
no sin, no sickness, no pain, no death"; consequently also
no redemption, no Savior, no restitution. There is a wide difference
between such false suggestions and the proper ones which God's
Word and
<PAGE 550> God's messengers present, viz.,
a suggestion of the Truth-- of God's love and merciful provision
in Christ for the full recovery of all who willingly obey him.
Applying
this law of good and truthful suggestion to his child is
the secret of a parent's success.52
Some parents apply the principle continually without being aware
of it, and they are the successful parents. For instance, the
mother who every morning greets her child with a cheery face and
voice, gives her child a happy suggestion, good for it
both mentally and physically. While dressing it, her little talk
about the pretty wee birdies and about the big sun looking in
at the window and calling all to get up and be good and happy,
and learn more lessons about God, and to be helpful to each other,
are additional profitable suggestions; whereas a complaint
about "another scorching day" would be a suggestion
of heat, discomfort and discontent, breeding unhappiness.
If,
instead of sunshine, there is rain and a gloomy outlook, it will
only make matters worse to think of the day gloomily and to suggest
gloomy thoughts to others. Rainy days have their blessings for
us as well as for others, and our minds should be quick to note
these and to pass them along by suggestion to companions. The
mother should anticipate the child's disappointment by calling
its attention to the beautiful rain which God has provided for
giving the flowers and trees and grass a drink and a bath to refresh
them, that they may be bright and cheerful to us and yield their
increase; and provided also for the cattle and for us to drink
and bathe and be clean and happy, and praise him and love him
and serve him. Another helpful suggestion can perhaps there be
introduced, viz., that this will be an opportunity
<PAGE 551> for wearing storm cloak and heavy
boots, and how thankful we should be that we have these and a
rainproof home and school. Or the suggestion can be given that,
"My little boy and girl must take good care to avoid mud
and water puddles, so as always to look neat and tidy, and neither
track mud into the schoolhouse nor into the home. Pigs like the
mud and have little sense about anything, and therefore must be
kept in a pen; but God gives us reason and power to appreciate
the beautiful and the clean. Therefore to copy after pigs and
lower animals in uncleanness, etc., is to dishonor ourselves and
our Creator and tends to degradation. It is honorable for anyone
to get dirty in some useful and necessary employment, but no one
should get dirtier than necessary nor take rest or ease until
he had cleaned up." We need not point out how profitable
these suggestion lessons would prove--not only to the child
but also to the parent.53
Discontent, one of the serious evils of our day, would find little
to stimulate its growth in a family in which all were intent on
giving happifying suggestions to themselves and each other.
The
same method should be adopted in the guidance of the child's dietary
in sickness or health. Never should the child have aches or pains
suggested, for the mind will almost certainly fasten upon
these and tend to aggravate any weakness or pain, nor should
aches and ailments be made the topic of conversation--especially
not at table, where every thought and influence should be cheerful,
healthful.
<PAGE 552> The good suggestion should be given
early and be oft repeated: "Is my little boy feeling happy
this morning? Does he love papa and mamma and sister and brother
and doggie? Yes, that's right--I thought so! Is he hungry for
some nice breakfast?--some nice porridge with sugar and milk and
cracker and bread and butter and jam? Now we must remember not
to eat any cucumbers today--nor unripe apples; these give my little
boy the stomachache. Instead we will have something else for him
specially good for him. Won't that be nice? There will be corn
on the table today, but that would not be good for my little man,
and so when the dish passes he will say, 'No, thank you!' He wants
to be well and strong as God wants him to be and as papa and mamma
desire to see him. That will be a good lesson in self-denial,
too, and papa and mamma will take pleasure in seeing their little
boy (or girl) learning this great lesson, so necessary to true
manhood and womanhood. God wants all Christians to practice self-denial
in respect to sins and in respect to everything which would hinder
his cause in any degree. And even worldly people all recognize
that the person who is a slave to his appetites is pitiably weak
and unmanly or unwomanly. Now papa and mamma will be watching
to see how strong is the will power of their little boy and we
feel sure he will succeed bravely." How highly God appreciates
self-control is shown by the Scripture statement, "Better
is he that ruleth his own spirit [will] than he that taketh a
city." `Prov. 16:32`
On
moral questions lessons by suggestion are equally potent for good
or evil. Let us do evil, is a powerful incentive to evil
deeds. Let us do good, is a powerful incentive to well-doing.
Hence the right and the wrong, the true and the false, the noble
and the ignoble, should be frequently appealed to every day, in
everything--the true, noble and right being shown in their true
grandeur, as approved not only by our Lord and Creator, but also
by the noblest and best of men and women, whom alone we should
emulate. The child-mind, thus taught early and persistently to
admire
<PAGE 553> the noble and the true, has a bulwark
reared in his mind against mean and dishonorable conduct in general.
If never sanctified by the Truth, if never begotten of the Spirit,
he has deeply laid the character needful to noble manhood or womanhood,
and if sanctified and begotten of the Spirit, he or she will have
the larger opportunities for successful service, both in the present
and the future life.
In
the event of the child's disobedience and hence its need for reproof
or correction, it should be admonished from the standpoint of
sympathy and confidence in its good intentions. "I know that
my little girl whom I love so much and endeavor continually to
make happy, and to train as the Lord would approve, did not willingly
disobey me. I am sure this disobedience was rather the result
of following the example of others and not sufficiently exerting
her will to do as mamma told her to do. I believe that
this time I shall forgive you and not punish you at all, except
that tonight I will give you no good night kiss--just to impress
the matter upon your mind, my dear. Now you'll try still harder
next time to exercise self-control and do as I direct--won't you,
dear? I am sure you will!" Next time take the matter still
more seriously, but never question the child's proper desires
or intentions. "I am so sorry that my little daughter
failed again. I do not doubt your good intentions, dear, but I
am sorry to see that you do not exercise your will power
in the matter as I am sure you could do, and as I earnestly hope
you will do in the future. It is necessary, my child, that I do
my duty toward you and punish you, though it would be far more
to my pleasure to commend you. I trust I may soon be enabled to
rejoice with you in your victory over this besetment. The matter
affects far more than is directly involved in the disobedience;
it affects your entire future, for if you do not now learn to
say 'No' to temptation you will fail also in the more important
and weighty questions of life as they present themselves in the
future. But I am confident that my love and confidence and instructions
will yet bear fruit. And remember, my child, that our very defeats,
as in
<PAGE 554> this case of yours, may become
helps to us, if we but set our wills the more firmly for the right.
We learn to be specially on guard at points where we find by experience
that we are weak. Let us bow before the Lord and ask his blessing,
that this failure may be a profitable lesson, and ask his assistance
in laying it to heart, that your conduct may be more pleasing
to him when next you are assailed by temptation."
All
suggestions should take into consideration the Lord-- "The
fear [reverence] of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."
Scripture text cards in every room in the house should continually
remind parents and children and visiting friends that the Lord's
will is the only standard recognized, that the Lord is cognizant
of all our doings and affairs, and that God is "for us,"
his newly begotten ones, and for all who are seeking righteousness
in humility.
Our
Children in the Time of Trouble
Those
of the New Creation now living who recognize the fact that we
are in the "harvest" time, that the separation of the
"wheat" and its gathering into the "barn"
is in progress, and that ere long the great time of trouble will
be upon the whole world, and especially upon nominal Christendom,
feel a deep interest in their children, and a desire to arrange
for them as wisely as possible in that time of trouble. In view
of the fact which the Scriptures make prominent, that the trouble
will extend to all classes and involve all institutions of the
present time, financial, social, religious, political, it would
not be reasonable for us to expect that the children of the New
Creation would be miraculously exempted from these troubles: nor
need we think to find a place on earth where they would be isolated
under natural conditions. When the time shall come that men shall
cast their gold and silver into the streets, and they shall not
be able to deliver them (`Ezek.
7:19`; `Zeph. 1:18`),
gold and silver, bank notes and bonds evidently will be of little
value, and will fail to procure either protection or comforts
or luxuries. If we look away, then, to country places, where we
<PAGE 555> might suppose that food at least
would be obtainable, we have the intimation of the Scriptures
that the distress of those days will affect the country places
as well as the cities: "There shall be no peace to him that
goeth out nor to him that cometh in, for I have set every man
against his neighbor." `Zech. 8:10`
There
is just one promise which seems to hold during that time of trouble,
and it appears to be a general one, applicable to all who
are meek and lovers of righteousness. This class should include
all mature children of the consecrated ones, who have been rightly
taught in the precepts of the Lord, rightly instructed out of
his Word. The promise reads, "Seek meekness, seek righteousness;
it may be that ye shall be hid in the day of the Lord's anger."
`Zeph. 2:3`
Christian
parents sometimes feel loath to leave their dear ones, even though
full of confidence that they themselves would be with the Lord
immediately they should pass through the veil--that they would
be changed and partake of the powers of the First Resurrection,
and be with the Lord and all his holy ones and share his glory.
The new mind is sometimes thus hindered, and made anxious in respect
to the members of the family left behind--desirous of continuing
with them for their counsel, assistance and guidance. Such should
realize that having given their all to the Lord, in accepting
them the Lord accepted all of their proper interests; and that
they may wisely commit to his loving care every earthly concern.
As they more and more learn of the lengths and breadths and heights
and depths of love divine, and how ultimately the benefits of
the great redemption shall extend to every member of Adam's race,
they will gain the greater confidence and trust in the Lord in
respect to their dear ones. Additionally, such should remember
that they themselves, on the other side the veil, will have still
as good an opportunity of watching over the interests of their
loved ones as they now have, and a much better opportunity than
now to exercise a protecting care over them--a providential guidance
in their affairs under
<PAGE 556> divine wisdom, with which they
will then concur absolutely.
What,
then, is the best provision possible for the New Creation to make
for their children according to the flesh? We answer that the
best provision is in their proper training. This, as already shown,
would include a reasonable education in the common branches, and
a particular training and instruction in matters pertaining to
God--in reverence for him and his Word, in faith in his promises,
and in the cultivation of those characteristics pointed out in
the Scriptures as the divine will, the Golden Rule. Such children,
if left without one dollar of earthly wealth, are rich; because
they have in heart and in head and in molded character a kind
of riches which neither moth nor rust nor anarchy nor any other
thing in the world can take from them. They will be rich toward
God, as the Apostle expresses it, and as again he declares, "Godliness
with contentment is great gain," great riches. Earnestly
striving by the grace of God to thus properly equip and qualify
their children for every emergency--both for the life that now
is and that which is to come--the New Creatures may feel comparatively
free from all concern respecting temporal interests, remembering
that the same Lord who has provided things needful and expedient
in the past is both able and willing to continue his supervision
and provision, adapted to all the circumstances and conditions
of that time as well as this--for those who love and trust him.
Proper
Amusements
Mirth
and humor are elements of our human nature, too often educated
out of all proportion to the more serious and useful qualities.
Babies are spoiled by being kept in a constant excitement of amusement
until their contentment is destroyed and they will cry for amusement.
This thought of amusement continues during childhood, when the
child should be entertaining itself investigating the affairs
of life and asking explanations of its parents or of books. Desire
to be amused thus cultivated, in due time craves the theater
<PAGE 557> and the nonsense of the clown.
Members of the New Creation should from first to last train their
offspring along opposite lines--to be actors in the great drama
of life, to deprecate shams, and to seek to perform as great acts
of usefulness and benevolence on the world-stage as their talents
and opportunities will permit.
Marriage
of the Children of New Creatures
We
have already noted the Apostolic injunction to the New Creatures,
that those who marry do well, but those who marry not do better.
This advice, however, is not applicable to their unconsecrated
children. Concerning the latter the Apostle writes: "I will
[advise], therefore, that the younger women [of the congregation
but not of the Church --believers, but not consecrated or sanctified]
marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the
Adversary to speak reproachfully."
`1 Tim. 5:14`
Many
of the New Creation we believe err seriously, though unintentionally,
on this subject. They realize quite correctly that in the majority
of cases marriage not only brings increased responsibilities but
bitter disappointments and sorrows and heartaches. But if the
sons or daughters have reached marriageable age and have not given
their hearts in marriage to the Lord, neither will they be prepared
to see the wisdom of following the Apostle's advice-- given only
to the New Creation--that it is only better to marry "than
to burn" with uncontrollable desires.
Let
us remember that God provided marriage for the natural man and
woman--Adam and Eve--before sin entered the world, and that although
the marital relation may be abused, as can every other proper
thing, and although it is generally terribly abused, nevertheless
this is not the fault of marriage, but of its abuse. "Let
marriage be had in honor among all, and let the [marriage] bed
be undefiled: for fornicators and adulterers God will judge."
`Heb. 13:4`
It
is but natural that grown children should be disinclined to take
the advice of even the best of parents on this
<PAGE 558> subject--the whole trend of nature
is in the opposite direction; and besides, they have the example
of their parents. If, neglecting the Lord's counsel that they
surrender to him, they conclude to learn the lessons of life by
experience rather than by precept, the sooner they begin the better.
Many of life's lessons can best be learned by marital experiences;
and to this end it is preferable that the newly married be thrown
as much as possible upon their own resources--that is, that they
be encouraged to start a separate home of their own, etc. They
will thus learn the more quickly to appreciate self-reliance,
fortitude, patience, mutual forbearance and cooperation.
Under
what the Apostle designates "the present distress" (`1
Cor. 7:26`), we would even favor what would be considered
early marriages. The man at twenty-one and the woman eighteen
we would consider preferable in some respects to riper ages, before
habits of thought and conduct have become too fixed. The married
couple should twine about each other; hence, pliancy of sentiment
is desirable-- especially on the part of the female, who should
accept as a partner only such an one as she could reverence and
look up to and, so far as recognized principles would permit,
she would be pleased to yield to. Besides, the greater elasticity
of the physical frame of the young mother will be to her advantage
in enduring her peculiar share of the curse. (`Gen.
3:16`) Let us not forget either the valuable experiences
accruing to every proper parent in his attempt to provide for
and train his children. These lessons may draw them to the Heavenly
Father more quickly than would any other, and that is the thing
to be desired above all others by the New Creation for their offspring.
Wise
parents will not attempt to frustrate the natural desire of their
children for marriage, but, cooperating wisely, will endeavor
with their wisdom to aid them in mating properly. And the properly
trained are not likely to ignore the advice of the loving and
careful parent, in the most important transaction of the natural
life. However, at such a
<PAGE 559> moment let not the indulgent parent
forget that the mating should be on the same plane--unbeliever
with unbeliever-- justified with justified, sanctified with sanctified--as
already set forth. In other words, if their sons or daughters
be unconsecrated they are not to endeavor to mate them with one
of the New Creation, who should marry "only in the Lord";
but are to recognize that such a union of diverse natures would
probably be disadvantageous to both, and at all events is contrary
to the divine injunction that his people marry "only in the
Lord."
Stewardship
of Our Children's Health
Parents
will do well to remember that as clean bodies will assist their
children to clean minds, so healthy bodies are valuable adjuncts
to healthy minds. Every New Creature should, with his "spirit
of a sound mind," be sufficiently a philosopher to guide
his offspring to the attainment and preservation of as much physical
health as their constitutions will permit. Pure air, pure water,
pure food and pure exercise, mental and physical, are at the foundation
of the best utilization of what we have received from our parents
and have transmitted to our children.
Every
parent should know that foggy air is not "fresh air,"
and that so far as is compatible with reasonable ventilation it
should be excluded from the lungs; that indoor ventilation should
include all the sunshine possible, and that the delicate should
not be out in the damp atmosphere of the early mornings and late
evenings. He should note the cleanliness of all vessels, etc.,
connected with the water supply and inculcate scrupulous care.
He should see to it that every child has some prescribed work
to do proportioned to its strength and years, and that he does
it well and carefully; and this work should be partly physical
and partly mental. The character of the reading and studying,
no less than that of the physical labor, should have close inspection,
and should change from time to time--for the proper rounding out
of mind and body, in preparation for
<PAGE 560> the various duties of life. The
child should realize the parental interest in him, and should
know that it is prompted by love for his future welfare
and is of divine obligation.
The
proprieties of eating are sadly misunderstood and this undoubtedly
is the cause of much disease--mental and physical. Every parent
should know that foods may be divided into three classes:
(1)
Those foods highly nitrogenized, which go to build up flesh, muscle,
sinew. Of these are flesh, fish, fowl, eggs, peas, beans. Of such
food five ounces daily is esteemed a full ration for an average
man in an average occupation--children proportionately less. These
foods are injured by too much cooking.
(2)
Those foods composed largely of starch and sugar, which supply
the nervous energy--vigor, activity, vim, heat. Of these are wheat,
potatoes, corn, oats, rice, and their various products--bread,
crackers, puddings, etc. These should be freshly cooked and well
cooked to be most nutritious and easy of assimilation--and this
in proportion to the natural weakness of the digestion. In our
day of machinery and easy travel the wear and tear on nervous
energy is much greater than upon the muscular fiber; hence food
of this kind should be eaten in much larger quantities than the
first named. The ration for an average man would be twenty ounces
per day--growing children requiring a little more than a proportionate
quantity because of their intense activity of mind and body.
(3)
Those foods--fruits and vegetables--which, composed chiefly of
water, are rich in bio-chemic salts, have a great value. Not only
do their salts of lime, potash, etc., assist in bone-making and
as nerve foods and regulators, but their watery fibrous elements
(as in cabbage, turnips, etc.), which contribute nothing to our
nourishment, assist in scouring and cleansing the bowels and thus
keep the more concentrated richer foods from clogging in the system.
Some of these, such as squash, beets, sweet apples, etc., have
also nutritive value proportioned to their sweetness. And some,
strongly acid, act as thinners and purifiers of the blood. Of
<PAGE 561> these are grapes, sour apples,
lemons, oranges, etc. Of liquid in some form--milk, soups, or
watery fruits and vegetables, or plain water itself, an average
man should use at least five pounds (equal five pints) daily--children
proportionately. The food contains enough liquid for meal times.
The drinking of water should be done an hour or more after meals.
These figures show that most people use far too little water and
vegetables.
It
should be remarked, further, that many of the articles set down
amongst the starchy foods (wheat, corn, oats, etc.) contain also
nitrogenous qualities--so that where necessary for the sake of
economy or for any reason a purely vegetable dietary could be
arranged at a very small cost that would nourish the family well,
in brain, brawn and vigor.
An
uneven balancing of these foods (especially of the second, the
most important) tends to disease--either oversupply causes the
blood to become too rich and sluggish and causes pimples and boils,
or a dark-coated tongue and headache and gout, and leads to a
stuffy cold; or a deficiency of nourishment to meet the demands
of nature causes weakness, nervousness, a white-coated tongue,
and is apt to lead also to a cold. Children should be taught to
note their own symptoms and eat accordingly--to counteract disease
at its inception, or preferably to prevent it by moderation and
good judgment at the table. But all have not alike sound judgment
in such matters; hence all the more should the parents, who by
God's grace have the "spirit of a sound mind," so regulate
and proportion and alternate the food supply of their tables that
eaters thereat might have little need for special carefulness
or selection--the variety being rather by rotation than by many
kinds at one time.
We
are not advocating a "fad," nor seeking to divert the
minds of the New Creation away from the spiritual food and to
fasten it upon physical health and what shall we eat, what shall
we drink, etc...after which things the Gentiles seek. No; we are
seeking chiefly the spiritual. But while our minds and conversation
are dealing specially with the spiritual, it is our duty to use
the soundest judgment we possess
<PAGE 562> in the care of our children, committed
to us by God's providence.
A
word in conclusion on this matter of diet. Horses and cattle eat
without apparent mentalization--good or bad-- and some of the
brutalized members of the human family do the same, but they are
few. Hence at every meal there is apt to be something to excite
either pleasant or unpleasant sentiments--love, joy, peace, hope,
etc., or anger, malice, hatred, strife, etc. Mental moods are
now recognized as having a powerful influence upon digestion.
By some alchemy, not clearly understood, the excitement of an
angry and malicious mood affects the nerves so as to interfere
with digestion, while cheerful and happifying influences act in
the reverse manner. The New Creature, himself, may inwardly preserve
his "peace of God" under multitudinous unfavorable surroundings,
but not so others: hence if he be the responsible head of a family
it is his duty to look after the peace of the household by so
far as possible keeping the table converse upon pleasant and profitable
if not religious topics.
When
committing the interests of our own health and that of our children
to the Lord we should be sure that to the best of our ability
we are using as wisely as possible the blessings and privileges
already bestowed upon us. Then, and not otherwise, may we appropriate
to our comfort the assurance that all things are working
for our good.
THE
NEW CREATION |